Sunday, December 21, 2014

Struggling with motivation

Personally, I'm still motivated to continue learning more about this sport and to continue to improve my skills in it.

A still has some kind of psychological block. One of my hopes when starting Karate with the kids was that it would give us something to do together, father and son, father and daughter.  And that somehow, through doing this activity together and spending more time together, that it would bring us closer and magically help to smooth out the wrinkles in our relationship.

So far that is not working.  Or is it?  It is hard to say.  "A" has been having a string of bad practices. He seems to like Karate.  He practices Kata at home on his own everyday.  However he doesn't like to get advice. Not from me, not from the Karate instructor, who is an 8th level black belt, by the way!  I would venture to bet, that if the instructor were female, then he would do better.

At any rate, I've come to realise that I we will have to work out our relationship problems at home and that dragging them to Karate because I want them to do it is NOT going to help.

We will still go to Karate.  But I know that I have to work harder to be a better father at home.  Parenting is so difficult.  When A is being mean and unfair to his younger sister, should I step in?  Or should I just let them work it out on their own?  My wife is saying that, unless it looks like someone is going to get hurt, that we should let them work things out for themselves.  But what kind of message does it send to them if we just stand by and do nothing when one suffers an injustice to the other?  Non-interference is best?  So they can learn to turn a blind eye when other people are getting bullied or suffering some injury at the hands of others?

Coming back to the title of this post: struggling with motivation.  Mostly I was thinking about the difficulty I've had lately getting the kids to practice when at practice.  My two are the only ones who go, but don't practice.  I wonder if they would practice if I were not there?  Is it MY presence that is the problem?  I've been trying to get their mother to come to practice but she won't.  She values having time with fewer children in the house as does my oldest daughter.

I will admit that my level of motivation has gone.  It has been a year since we started and I have thought a lot about what Karate means.  I have come to the conclusion that it is nothing more than a hobby, an interest and a sport.  It is good exercise and something that we can do with others.  It is a sport, although the rules are not yet uniform across tournaments and styles. It has a long history, though probably not as long as wrestling, my first love.  Other than this, it has no meaning.  The reason I wanted the kids to do it in the first place is that I wanted them to learn a traditional art from Japan.  Judo was an option but I didn't really want them to do that and get cauliflower ears.  Sumo?  No thanks.  What's left that we can learn in our community?  Japanese calligraphy, but that is about it.  So, karate is what I chose.